Toxic
by MagicInTheMusic
Summary: "There's something wrong with me." "We've been friends for eight years and I've never actually met your brother." "Jace, isn't okay to talk." I straightened the beanie that covered my bald head. His eyes met mine for the briefest second. Little blips from this story to pull you in. Come find out about the life of Jace and Clary.
1. Chapter 1

**Jace POV**

Football practice was torture. Every one of my muscles ached as we did out twelve suicides down the length of the field. My breath was coming shorter than usual and some of my team mates were being to notice.

"Come on, Herondale! You're supposed to be the star of the team!" One of the guys yelled to me as I was beginning to fall back from lack of oxygen. Panting, I made myself stop before I actually did pass out, and walk to the edge of the field where a stern look on my coach's face greeted me.

"Get your pansy ass back out there, Herondale, before I have to take you from the first game!" He yelled, the veins in his forehead throbbing. His name was Mr. Rob, but we tended to call him Throb because of the creepy things his veins were able to do in his forehead.

"Coach," I said breathlessly, "I can't."

"Now!" Yelling again, he gave me a shove back onto the practice field where I was already three behind the rest of the team.

"Dude," Alec, one of my best friends, came up to me after we had left the locker room, "what was up with you today? You're not one to slack off like that."

I sighed and shook my head, "I didn't slack off, I just couldn't breathe. I'm fine; it was just a bad day. Lay off."

He put his hands up in defense, "Whatever. So, ready for the big game?"

I rolled my eyes, "Alec, the _big game_ is in three weeks. You're getting way ahead of yourself, school hasn't even started yet."

He shoved me and I ended up stumbling more than I should've and hit a wall. I pushed off, but had to keep a hand on it because my head was spinning. It took a few moments before things would come back into focus and now Alec was staring at me like I was some kind of wild animal. "I think I'm coming down with something," I muttered pathetically.

Alec snorted, "Just get your act together, Jace." He wandered off to find his sister, Isabelle, who needed a ride home from volleyball practice.

I stumbled a bit on the way to my car which made me think that I might actually be coming down with something. Starting the engine, I made my way back to my house.

Neither of my parents, Stephen and Celine, were home when I arrived. Realizing that I smelled like crap, I headed up to take a long, hot shower.

After I showered I slipped on a pair of shorts and went to go put a tee shirt on, but something stopped me before I could. Bruises. Dark purple, blue, and yellow bruises lined my back. I poked at one and felt a small jab of pain and wondered where in the hell I got these from. The events of the past week flew through my mind but nothing seemed to measure up to what was right in front of my face.

"Jace, we're home!" My mother, Celine, yelled from down the stairs and I quickly put a shirt on to mask the bruising. Then I headed down the stairs to help carry in the groceries.

"Can anyone tell me what NAACP stands for?" My history teacher, Mrs. Sonya, asked us. Me, I was mostly zoned out, not really paying any attention to what she'd been saying for the last five minutes. I saw her smiled though, and look directly at me, "How about you Mr. Herondale, can you tell me what ALL stands for since I've been explaining it for the last five minutes?" Great, now not only was I going to look like an idiot, the teacher was doing it on purpose. Bitch.

"Uh, National Attention Action of Crazy People?" I said and heard some snickers from my friends and saw some eye rolls from the smart kids who'd actually been paying attention.

"Very funny," she looked around the room and found some smart kid who always knew the answers; Simon. "Now, Simon, can you tell me what NAACP stands for?"

He nodded, "National Association for the Advancement of Colored People."

She beamed at him, and then proceeded to hand out a two page work sheet on the time period of whatever the NAACP was in.

The worksheet wasn't that hard, I mean, it wasn't like I was stupid I just acted like it for the guys. _Splat_. I heard the sound before I saw the blood. _Splat splat splat._ Dark, red blood was beginning to make a big circle on my worksheet. Stunned, I stood up and quickly got a hall pass and made my way to the nurse's office.

"Oh," was all the nurse said as I entered her office. She handed me a few tissue and soon we realized it wasn't just a normal nose bleed, the blood just kept coming. I was a bit lightheaded by the time the bleeding stopped and the nurse made me lie down on the little bed thing she hand in her office. The only word to describe was I felt was embarrassment. A few moments later a girl walked in and talked to the nurse for a moment before being handed two different pill bottles. She was pretty, petite, fair skin, and kind of short. Her head was covered with a dark green beanie that enabled me from seeing her hair, but I guessed that it would be red. She had dark circles and was quite thin, anorexic maybe? She also had a very tired look about her as she swallowed the pills.

She must've felt me staring because a moment later her eyes caught mine. I quickly looked away and closed my eyes, then waited for her to look away. As I opened my eyes again, I saw her roll her eyes and walk out of the nurse's office. I sat up after she left, feeling most of the lightheadedness leave, and looked to the nurse. She chuckled at me a little bit. "Honey, she's not for you." I groaned and left her office after getting an excuse note.

"Mom, we need to talk," I told her as I came down from upstairs after doing my homework. She turned away from the dishes she was doing and looked at me. I pulled up my shirt and turned around, unveiling the many bruises that lined my back. She gasped and took a step towards me.

"What happened?" She breathed.

"I don't know, I stepped out of the shower and noticed it. I've also been getting nosebleeds and yesterday, at practice, it felt like I couldn't breathe, Mom, there's something wrong with me," the last part came out a whisper.

Her fingers lightly traced the bruises before she stepped to the phone, "I'll call the hospital, and see if we can get an appointment."

They took some blood, did some scans, and found out our family medical history. We were going back a week later to find out the test results. Guess what, it's a week later.

"Please sit," the doctor, Dr. Monrose, motioned for the three chairs in front of her desk.

"What are the results?" My father asked cautiously, almost as if he was afraid to hear the answer. I was very scared to hear the answer. The nosebleeds became more frequent and I had to be taken out of practice twice this week because I was so short of breath.

"Mr. and Mrs. Herondale," she glanced at me a moment before continuing, "your son, Jace, as ALL. Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, it's most common in children from ages one to ten, but it's not unheard of. This is a type of leukemia where immature white blood cells continuously multiply and are overproduced in the bone marrow. These immature cells crowd the normal cells in the bone marrow and cause damage by spreading to other organs. The good news is that it hasn't majorly affected any of Jace's organs, and we caught it rather early. The only bad news is that we didn't catch it as early as we could hope, but it's not as late as it could have been."

My mind went blank. I'm dead, was all I could think. The only think I knew about leukemia was it was some kind of cancer and people with cancer die. I heard my mother weeping and saw my father holding her while he asked a few questions.

"Where do we go from here?" He asked while stroking my mother's hair.

She cleared her throat, "Well, ALL is not operable so the thing we do is a combination of chemotherapy and radiation. Also, we do medication and steroid to control the cancer. We need to begin a process that we call Induction Therapy, our goals are: 1. Kill as many leukemia cells as possible. 2. Return blood counts to normal. 3. Rid the body of signs of disease for a long time. We need to begin treatment as soon as possible if you want a better chance of survival; I normally would give families as much time as possible to make a decision, but with the rate at which the cancer is escalating I would like to ask you to make a decision now if possible." She clasped her hands together and rifled through some paper for a moment, giving us time to do what we needed to do.

Both of my parents looked at me, but I was unable to speak or move or think. My mother wiped her eyes and nodded to my father, "He'll fight it," he whispered.

Dr. Monrose nodded, "I'll speak with an oncologist today and, if you could, please come back tomorrow because I will have some more news. My parents shook her hand and I realized that I couldn't move. Everyone looked expectantly at me, but I just sat there. "He's probably in a bit of shock right now. Take him home and make him sleep plenty, he'll need it." My mother laid a hand on my arm and helped me stand and my father walked me to the car.

**Clary POV**

"Okay hun, you're all set," my favorite nurse, Carli, told me. I smiled to her and jumped off the table I was sitting on. She had just fixed my catheter; where I got my chemotherapy from. "Have a nice weekend, sweetie, you get it off. I haven't seen any treatment scheduled for you."

I smiled, "You know I'll be here anyways."

She nodded, "Ah, yes your little nine year old friend who has heart failure. I saw him the other day, he's still bouncing off the wall."

"Of course she is, it's not like he's gonna quit on me," I hugged her goodbye and met my mother outside and she took me home.

My mother was a nice person, a bit flighty, but one of the good ones. My father, Valentine, was in prison for murder, we didn't talk about him much. My brother, Jonathan, was a bit emo. He died his hair black, we were pretty sure he cut himself, and he doesn't come out of his room unless he feels like eating; which isn't very often.

"How are you feeling?" My mother asked me as I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes for a moment.

"I'm fine, mom," I whispered, a bit annoyed. She's great, like I said, she's one of the good ones, but I swear she is just a bit too pushy when it comes to my leukemia. I've had ALL for two years, it started when I was fourteen, I'm sixteen now. I go to school once in a while, but not very often. I was just in school last week for a day or two until I felt too weak to keep up the eight hour routine.

"Okay, I'm just checking up on you," she murmured, "before you go to Isabelle's can you go check on your brother and tell him that dinner will be in about an hour?"

I nodded and went down the hallway and knocked on Jonathan's door. "What!" He screamed without opening the door.

"It's Clary," I said quietly, knowing that he could hear me.

I heard him get up and open the door, and then he wrapped me in a hug. Jonathan was depressed because of my mother and father, but me he adored. "Hey sis," he said and kissed my forehead.

I squeezed him back and then pulled away. "I'm going to Isabelle's, but mom said that dinner's in about an hour."

He nodded, "Tell her I said hi."

I smiled, "Maybe," then I went to pack a bag.

"Okay, so my brother's in his room, but we can totally hang out in the upstairs living room," Isabelle said as I plopped down on her bed.

"Isabelle," I said, "we've been friends for eight years and I've never actually met your brother."

She shrugged, "I know, I'd introduce you to him, but I think he's sleeping.

I nodded, "Fine, now come on, I need to watch something." She laughed at me, I straightened my beanie on my bald head, and we ran up the stairs to the living room.

"Hey Max!" I said as I jumped on the hospital bed next to the best nine year old in the world.

"Clary!" The little boy smiled and wrapped his arms around my tiny waist.

"So, see anyone new come through?"

He shrugged, "A boy, I think he went down to the oncology unit. You might have a new friend soon." He waggled his eyebrows at me and I gently smacked him on the shoulder.

"Okay, so I'll read through one comic book with you and then I have to go get something small to eat," I explained and then pulled out a new comic book that he hadn't seen yet. His eyes widened in anticipation of a new story.

"I'll be back in about an hour if nothing exciting happens," I told Max before trying to find my way to the cafeteria. I had to pass through the oncology unit of course, though. On my way I saw a boy, I assumed this was who Max had saw. He had golden blond hair and was lying in a hospital bed with a woman, I assumed to be his mother, sitting in a chair by him. His eyes were closed but I could see the pain and sickness radiating from him. It looked to be his first time on chemo and he wasn't taking it well. His eyes shot open and he doubled over a trash can. When he finished his eyes met mine for the briefest second and I ducked my head and walked quickly away. I tried to forget the look of recognition in his eyes as I found a muffin the cafeteria.

_**So, I'm not insane, but this idea just popped into my head while I was writing another story. I thought it was okay, but to continue I need some support from you amazing people out there on fanfiction. **_

_**Review so I know if I should continue this:)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Jace POV**

I wiped my mouth and looked up from my hospital bed and my eyes met with the girl from the nurse's office. Hey eyes quickly left mine and she scurried down the hallway. All I knew was that I wanted to meet her, she was in the hospital for some reason and I wanted to know. All thoughts were pushed away as a new wave of nausea hit me and I doubled over into the trash can.

**Clary POV**

It was Monday, I had chemo today. I made my way into the room that I was assigned and waited while a nurse hooked me up to a drip. I closed my eyes as I felt the coldness of the killer find its way into my body. Thinking about my life before this brought tears to my eyes.

I played the saxophone, the tenor saxophone. Best in the band and the sound was the most beautiful thing you could ever hear. Then I got ALL, it took the ability to play away. My lungs weren't strong enough to play anymore and it made the tears fall down my face. I marched in high school band for a year, my freshman year, and then I got ALL. I played for five years, and then I got ALL. Of course, I was never popular, but my band friends were my world. Now, I don't go to school, I don't play the saxophone, and I don't see my band friends anymore. Yes, once is a while I liked to have a pity fest, it didn't happen very often, but I figured that I deserved it once in a while.

I sighed and wiped the tears off my cheeks and looked out the window. My eyes widened as I saw someone was in the room across from mine. A boy, with golden hair and a sick expression about him. It was the boy from the room two days ago, the boy who was in the oncology unit. He was lying down on the bed, his eyes closed. No one else was in the room with him this time and his face was pale. I wanted to know his name and I wanted to meet him.

His eyes opened and found mine, I raised my hand up and gave a small wave, which he returned with a sad smile. A tired look crossed his eyes and they closed while his head fell back onto the pillows. I gazed at him for a moment before following his lead and closing my eyes.

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I opened my eyes to a nurse shaking my shoulder. "You're done, sweetie," she told me and unhooked the IV from my arm. I looked around, trying to get my bearings and stretched. Shit! It rose in my throat and I bent over a trash can and puked.

Finally, I was able to wipe my mouth and stand up. I looked over to the room across the hall and saw that the boy was gone. Turning to the nurse, I asked, "How long ago did the boy across the hall leave?"

She thought for a moment, "Around fifteen minutes ago." I thanked her and grabbed my bag before heading out to my car. They said you weren't supposed to drive after chemo, but I'd learned the ropes enough that I was pretty much safe.

I opened the door to the outside cold and took in my surrounding. There were a few people congregating by the entry way, a nurse helping a family member inside, and a boy laying down on a bench waiting for something. I noticed that he had golden hair. Oh! Stopping walking, I turned and looked over to the boy again. Sure enough, it was the one from across the hall. Being more daring that usual I walked over and sat down on the bench with him, he was gazing off into space and I don't even think he realized that I was there. "Hey," I said softly without looking over at him.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him turn towards me with a shocked expression on his face, "You-" he started but was unable to finish because a car pulled up and was honking. A looked of regret crossed his beautiful features before he ran to the honking car.

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**JACE POV**

Her voice was exactly like I imagined it would be. Beautiful. She was gorgeous despite the lack of hair on her head, of course, I couldn't judge, I'd look like that in a few weeks anyways. Then my father pulled up and started honking that damn horn and I had to go before I died of embarrassment. Now I was on my way back to school, I didn't feel too terrible so both my mother and father decided on making me go back and try to finished some part of my education.

Alec came up behind me and slapped me on the back, causing me to wince. "Dude, where were you for first through third hour? Mrs. Heaney completely went berserk on her husband for walking into our class, priceless."

I shrugged, "Dentist appointment," I lied smoothly. I hadn't exactly told anyone about the whole leukemia thing. I was still on the football team even, but I was going to have to come up with some kind of excuse for quitting. Yes, I realized that people would find out, but I didn't want anyone to treat me different quite yet. Once my hair started falling out though, it was fair game I guess.

"Whatever man, so," he slung his arm around my shoulder, "homecoming game is in two weeks, got yourself a date yet? Because we know none of the fine ladies can resist the quarterback."

I rolled my eyes, "No, I haven't asked anyone yet. Have you?"

He nodded enthusiastically, "Yea, it's the new girl, Magna. Dude, she is so hot, she might even let me get second base."

"Good luck with that," I told him dismissively and then headed to lunch. I had second lunch while Alec had first lunch so I had to find some other people to sit with.

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I ate my lunch with a few of the guys from the team and then went out to get a drink of water from the fountain. I had to walk past the band room to actually get to the drinking fountain so I stopped and looked through the window that showed the band room.

The playing was quite magnificent for them only playing for two weeks. Right now I think they were playing the music that they used when they marched on the field for the Big Game in two weeks. I looked around and saw someone I actually recognized. Not being friends with the band geeks, I didn't usually recognize anyone so I was surprised to see a girl wearing a blue beanie. It was the girl from the hospital; she was walking around the room and helped the players and the band director. I noticed she lingered quite a bit longer by the saxophones and a look of longing crossed her face when she moved on. She must've felt me staring at her because she looked up and caught my eye then smiled. I smiled back and motioned for her to come outside with me. She hesitated for only a moment before speaking briefly to the band director who nodded.

When she opened the door I came face to face with the most beautiful girl ever. "Hello stranger," she said to me and leaned up against the wall.

"Hey, I think I've seen you in more places than one," I joked a bit.

She considered this for a moment. "Maybe, so, can I know your name?"

"Can you," I said and she smiled which made my insides do a little flip. "Jace Herondale, ALL."

Her eyes widened and she considered my answer for a moment, "Clary Fairchild, ALL." I heard a loud squeak and then some weird sound come from the band room a moment later. She sighed, "It's really nice to finally meet you Jace, but I really must go before the band goes to pieces. I'll see you soon." She opened the door, looked back at me and smiled, and then headed off to a few clarinet players who I guessed had squeaked.

I watched her for a little while longer before actually going to get a drink and then I went back and hung out with my friends.

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Against my better thought, I went to football practice that afternoon. My parents hadn't told any of the school staff about my problem, so that meant that Coach didn't know better enough to pull me out. It was the only thing that was going to keep me sane in the moment so I grabbed my workout bag and headed to the field.

Right from the start I knew it was a bad idea. My breath came in shallow spurts and I felt like passing out. Everyone noticed that I didn't look good and Coach even offered to let me sit out without any Game Day consequence but I turned him down, determined to finish what I had started. Soon, about two hours into practice, I felt a strange sensation in my stomach. My eyes widened and I ran off the field and into the bushes when I puked.

I couldn't stop, it just kept coming. Coach was yelling to my team mates to back off and give me room while he came near me. "Herondale?" He said unsurely.

I threw up again, "I-." And then again, it just wouldn't stop; it felt as if my stomach and throat were being torn apart.

Gasping for breath, I vomited again and saw blood. Coach must've saw it too because he pulled out his phone and called 9-1-1. "Yes, I have a teenage boy that's now vomiting blood. I need an ambulance right away." I bent over again and blacked out. The last thing I remember is my head pounding on the gravel.

**CLARY POV**

I was going to visit Max when I saw the stretcher come in with a boy with golden hair on it. My breath caught in my throat as I saw Jace, who was unconscious, look almost as if he were dead. I turned to Max, who looked just as scared as I felt, and wrapped my arms around his thin body. His face was paler than usual, "Was that the boy that I saw come in the other day?" He asked me.

"I think so, I'll go ask a nurse what's going on in a few minutes so they have time to straighten everything out."

He nodded, seeming to accept my answer. And soon I went out to find Carli and find out what was going on.

"He came in about fifteen minutes ago vomiting blood everywhere. The doctors were able to stop it, but the boy is drained. Completely drained and he can't keep anything down. They've got him on an IV because he's also dehydrated, his parents are in with him now," Carli told me and then pointed me in the direction of the room without me even having to ask.

I found what I assumed to be his mother standing outside of him room on the phone. Standing there, I watched her for a few minutes and as soon as she put her phone away her eyes met mine and she motioned me forward. Hesitantly, I came closer to stand in front of her. "Um, hi," I said a bit shyly.

She extended her hand, "Hi, my name's Celine Herondale, I'm Jace's mother. You must be the girl." I gave her a wondering expression and she smiled, "You're the girl he saw in the hospital and the one he didn't know the name of until today. Clary right? He came home before he went off to football practice and told me that he learned your name finally."

I nodded, "It's nice to meet you. How is he?"

She looked over into the hospital room where I guessed Jace was and sighed, "Tired and his spirit is gone." I gave her a sympathetic look and she nodded. "Would you like to go in? I was just going to go down to the cafeteria for some coffee, but I'm sure he would love you company."

I thanked her and she went on her way. Taking a deep breath and preparing myself in-case he didn't want me there, I opened the door and went on inside.

He did look worn out. His eyes had bags under them and his skin was almost translucent. There was a light blanket covering his chest and an IV in his arm. His eyes were closed, but opened slowly as I walked farther into the room.

"Clary?" He whispered and did a double take almost as if to check if I was really there.

I made my way over to a chair by the bed and sat down. "Hey Jace, I was visiting someone when I saw a stretcher come in. When I realized it was you, I found my way over here and met your mom who I said that I could come in." He looked as if he were only half paying attention to what I was saying, which didn't bother me too much considering what he'd been through. "So, how do you feel?" I knew it was a dumb question the minute I asked it, but he looked at me like it was the best question in the world.

"Tired, and my throat really hurt," he told me softly. Without realizing what was happening, I reached over a squeezed his hand for a moment before putting it back into my lap.

"I'm sorry," was all I could think to say and then I saw his mom coming back with a coffee in her hand. She stood outside the door and I took it was my queue to leave. I stood up and squeezed his hand once more, Daring Clary, "I should go."

"Will you come back?" He said it so quietly I almost thought he didn't say it at all.

I nodded, "If you want me too." Then I quickly exited before I said something stupid. I thanked his mother once more and said it was nice to meet her before heading back to Max to explain the he was going to be okay.

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**JACE POV**

She continued to amaze me, and she was all I could think about as I sat in the hospital bed with my mother sleeping in the chair next to it. I was so tired and everything hurt. They told me I should sleep more, but I just couldn't bring myself to close my eyes. After a few hours they tried to get me to eat again, but it seemed nothing would stay down and I would go through the pain of it coming back up again. It felt silly, considering I'd only known Clary for a few days, but I wanted her next to me, I wanted to hold her hand and feel her warmth through my cold skin. Pride kept me from asking my mother to go find out where she was and have her come here because she said she'd be back. Of course, she never specified when.

The hospital decided to keep me overnight because I couldn't keep food down and they needed to administer the chemo, but wouldn't do it while I was so sick. Sleep eluded me through the night and I tossed and turned. The next morning I could hardly keep my eyes open and my mother paced the room while worry creased her brow. When she went out to answer another phone call from my dad, who was in Pennsylvania on a business trip, I saw Clary come up to her through the glass. They talked for a moment and it ended up with my mother going most likely to the cafeteria again and Clary opening the door to my room and sitting in a chair by the bed.

"You don't look too good," she said softly.

I laughed, which I instantly regretted as I went into a coughing fit. The fit turned into a feeling that I knew all too well by now. Clary must've seen my facial expression because she grabbed the trash bin on the floor and put it under my mouth and sat on the edge of the bed with me. I retched and soon felt her warm hand on my back. When I stopped and laid back onto the bed, she stood up and took the bin out to a nurse that was walking down the hall. The nurse smiled and gave Clary a hug before heading away with the bin.

As she sat back on the chair I felt a bit sad, I would've rather she sat with me, but I wasn't going to tell her that. "I'm sorry about that," I quickly apologized before she ran off.

She shook her head, "Don't be, you today, me tomorrow." I offered a smile, which she returned. I felt my eyes closing and tried to fight it. Seeing her stand I realized I wasn't doing a very good job.

"Stay," I said softly before realizing how weak that sounded.

She squeezed my hand and sat back down, "Close your eyes, I'm here."

_**Wow, I can't believe how much support I'm getting from all my reader to this new story right now! You guys are amazing and I decided to do some shoutouts:**_

_**BritTheAwesome: Of course there will be! And I'm glad you enjoyed it!:)**_

_**rainbows-sprinkles-demons: I really appreciate that!**_

_**EmilyHawley: Thanks you so much! I will reveal in the end where most of the story comes from, so stay tuned!**_

_**This is only some and I thank everyone who wrote me a review, or is following my story, or even favorited it! I'm also sending a shoutout to all the kids and families at Sandy Hook School! You're in my thoughts and I can't believe anyone would even think to do that to so many kids and families!**_

_**A\N: I know their relationship is moving fast, but I like it and I hope you do too. Tell me what you think!:) *heart***_


	3. Chapter 3

**CLARY POV**

His eyes closed and I was sure he fell asleep instantly. Sleep took away some of the sick look from his features and gave him an almost innocent appearance. I looked to see if his mom had come back before standing up and touching his cheek with my fingertips ever so lightly. My fingers traveled to the top of his head before running themselves through his golden hair. It was soft and cool compared to his heated forehead. After a few minutes went by, my hand trailed down and squeezed his arm lightly before walking back out into the hallway.

I jumped back a bit when I saw that his mother was standing outside the room, but still hidden from my view if I had been looking for her from the inside. Her eyes were tear stained and I stood there a bit awkwardly before she raised her head and spoke. "You put him to sleep faster than I can," she said so softly I barely heard. Then she laughed quietly, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying. I'm glad he has someone."

I nodded, "Thank you for letting me see him."

She waved away my thanks, "Don't mention in, in fact, come back any time you like, you don't need my permission. He seems to enjoy having you here."

I smiled, "Thank you so much, Mrs. Herondale."

"Don't mention it," she whispered and then headed inside Jace's room where she sat down with a book.

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I stayed at home for the next two days after my round of chemo because I came down with the flu. Everything hurt and I could barely keep my eyes open for more than a few minutes at a time. My mom even wanted to take me to the doctor, but my fever never reached over one hundred. It was Thursday when I was finally feeling well enough to climb out of bed and try getting ready for school. I was allowed to go to my first few hours, all the way up until band class and then I had to come home and rest again. Wanting to leave the house even for some measure of time, I agreed.

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Isabelle made me tell her all the details of the boy and finally she asked about his name.

"Jace Herondale," I told her and then smiled. I realized something, "Oh, he has the same name as your brother."

She gave me a hard look, "Clary, that is my brother," she told me in a deathly voice. "You have a thing for my brother!" She screeched.

My eyes widened to epic proportions, "Oh my god, Isabelle, why didn't you tell me that he had ALL! And why do you have different last names?!"

She sighed, "We have different dads, Stephen is Jace's real father, my father's left when I was a baby."

"That still doesn't explain why you didn't tell me! We're supposed to be best friends!" My anger turned into rage as I realized that she had been keeping things from me.

"I can't handle it, that's why! He's always throwing up and screaming in his room! I can't look at him without realizing that he's dying! You can't even imagine what it's like!" She screamed and then gasped as she finally registered what she said to me.

"Yeah," I said sarcastically, "I would never understand." Then I walked quickly away to my first hour class.

Isabelle continued to ignore me throughout the rest of the classes I went to and thankfully lunch came quicker than I thought it would. I barely touched my food, but that was the normal for me after I was getting over the flu. Some, the ones who didn't know any better, assumed I was a bit anorexic, but then someone would tell them and I would get the dreaded sympathetic look. Second lunch was usually better than first and I was glad that I had it. When I finished what I was able to eat, I walked from the lunch room to the drinking fountain.

The cold water felt good on my sore throat and I un-pressed the water button and turned around only to come face to face with Jace. He looked tired, but better than a few days ago. "Hey stranger," I smiled.

He took a drink and leaned against the wall next to me, "Hey, where were you? I haven't seen you in a few days."

My heart did a small flip at the fact that he noticed I wasn't here. "Sick, came down with the flu after chemo. How are you?" He shrugged. I shook my head, "Come on now, how are you? You look tired."

"I'm okay, they gave me a round of chemo yesterday so I'm not exactly one hundred percent, but then again, I don't think I ever will be."

"Some days are better than others, you get used the feeling after a while." He gave me a half smiled and then reached down. I assumed he was going to touch his leg or something else weird but I quickly felt his warm hand intertwine our fingers together.

"Your hands are so cold," he whispered, his eyes only for mine.

"Being sick all the time will do that I guess," I told him and when he leaned in to hear me I realized how quiet that came out.

"No PDA!" I turned quickly, unhooking my hand from Jace's, and saw the principle shaking his head at us before going into his office.

My laughter was un-containable as I turned back around. Jace joined in with me and I suddenly felt as if it was supposed to be this way. I never really was a romantic person, but this just felt right. The bell rang while I was still laughing and I sobered up, waved to Jace, and headed to Band.

Knowing it was time to end the small fight Isabelle and I had, I went and found her after school. "I'm so sorry," we both said at the same time and giggled.

She sighed, "I'm sorry, I had no right to freak out on you. And you're right, I should've told you, maybe you could have helped."

I shook my head, "No, no, it wasn't any of my business. I'm sorry." We hugged like idiots and then she pulled me to her car and we went to her house to hang out. Needing some bonding, I decided to stay the night.

"Jace!" Isabelle hollered up the stairs as soon as we entered her home, "Come get your ass down here, I have a surprise that I'm keeping!"

"What in the world's name could you-" Jace's eyes widened as he came to the last step and stopped, his eyes locked with mine. "Um, hey, what are you doing here?" He asked softly.

Isabelle huffed impatiently, "Clary has been my best friend for the past eight years and never met you. As soon as I heard about you from her babbling, I decided to let you know we knew each other and she's spending the night. Now, we're going to go to my room and get started on our English 11 paper due in two weeks." Isabelle grabbed my arm and pulled me to her room and I was only able to smile at his expression.

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I pushed back from the laptop I was using, we had been at the paper for five hours and it was eight at night. "Okay," I said, pulling away her laptop, "I'm hungry, it's eight and we're doing something else." She gaped at the time and ran down the stairs faster than I'd ever seen.

We had cereal and set popcorn in the microwave and decided on a movie to watch.

"Where's Jace?" I asked absently in between bits of cereal.

She shrugged, "Probably in his room listening to music and staring at his ceiling," she looked up to my face, "you can go up if you want. I'm sure mom won't mind as long as the door stays open."

I gave her a small smile and washed my dish before hesitantly traveling up the stairs. There wasn't much at the first door, but when I passed by the second door and I could My _Chemical Romance_ blaring from the speakers. The door was cracked open a bit so I just pushed it open the rest of the way and looked inside.

Jace was sitting on a futon off to the side of the room, his eyes were closed and his legs hung off the edge. He hadn't seen me yet so I walked in soundlessly and sat gently on the side of the bed. His eyes opened and he smiled.

"I was wondering when Isabelle would tell you to come up here," a cocky smile was plastered on his lips and I batted his arm.

"Oh, I didn't come up here for you, I'm just really lost," the sarcasm was evident in my voice.

"Sure," he drug out the word then gestured to his stereo, "any good?"

I nodded, "The best."

He sighed and rubbed his forehead before lying down in my lap. I smiled despite my initial shock and ran a hand through his golden hair. Though I could feel some of his hair coming off in my hand I tried to ignore it for his benefit. We sat like that for a while and soon I noticed that he fell asleep in my lap. I laughed softly, as to not wake him up. Carefully, I placed his head onto a pillow and put a blanket on top of him before leaving the room.

Isabelle waited for me outside the door with a funny expression on her face. "What?" I asked while realizing the expression matched her mother's from the hospital.

She laughed a bit, "We can never get him to sleep, he's usually up half the night," she shook her head, "I don't know what it is about you, but I'm glad you two met."

I smiled and slung an arm around her shoulder and then we went up to watch a scary movie.

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Their parents came home late that night and we soon heard screaming. I turned to Isabelle with a question in my eyes. She shrugged her shoulders, "They've been doing this for the past few weeks and I think a divorce is in the air. Jace being sick doesn't help the process." We talked a bit more along the lines of this subject before heading to her room to sleep.

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_Aaaaarrrrgggggggg!_ I woke to screaming and saw Isabelle shoot up as well before she sighed and looked to me sheepishly.

"It's just Jace; he has nightmares ever since starting the chemo."

"Don't you go wake him up?" I asked the concern evident in my voice.

She nodded, "Once in a while, but we usually just let him sleep through it. It lasts about three hours usually." She scanned my face and saw my horror and then sighed, "Go, I know you want to. Mom and dad left to go to separate places for the weekend so no one will know."

I felt bad about it, but I still crept from her room and padded down the hallway to Jace's room. The intensity of the screams grew and I quickly pushed his door open.

He thrashed on the futon bed, his blankets wrapped tightly around his body. I walked over to the side of his bed and sat down while shaking his shoulder. He woke with a gasp and started to hyperventilate. His eyes were wide with fear and I put a hand to his forehead. He was burning up. "Jace, calm down, you're fine," I tried to say soothingly.

By the look on his face when I spoke, I assumed that he hadn't noticed it was me that woke him. "Clary?" He questioned, his voice sounded so small and innocent that I could feel my heart breaking for him.

"You're burning up," was all I manage to say.

Slowly, he pushed himself into a sitting position and intertwined his fingers with mine. "Sorry about that, it's usually not loud enough to wake people up."

"I'm a light sleeper."

With his free hand, he traced the dark circles under my eyes gently, "How much do you sleep?"

I shrugged, "About four to five hours a night. I just wake up often and have a hard time getting back to sleep."

"You should sleep more, but then again, I'm not one to talk," he smiled and then did something unexpected. I felt a tug on my arm and soon I was lying on the futon with him. I gasped and he smiled softly. "I'm not going to do anything, I just want to test a theory. Come on, just lay down with me," he pleaded and I complied. Technically, we were spooning and I felt his arm wrap around my waist and out fingers came together again. It was very intimate and I was a bit self-conscious. I went over the fact that I'd only know him about three weeks and here I was sleeping with him, but dismissed it, realizing that it wasn't important right now.

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When the morning light shone through the thin black curtains, my eyes decided it was time to wake up. Opening them, I saw Jace examining my face closely. All of the events from before I fell asleep came rushing back to me.

"Morning beautiful," he said as soon as he realized that I was awake.

I smiled, "Good morning, what time is it?"

He looked to the clock that I hadn't noticed before, "Around nine."

"Wow," I said in shock, "I haven't slept that long in years."

He shook his head, "I haven't slept without nightmares since starting the chemo and I had none with you."

I was unsure of what to say, so I smiled instead. Standing up off the bed, I headed to the bathroom to go change. I put on a pair of jeans and a cute top with my favorite white beanie. Usually, I didn't sleep in someone else's house without it, but I decided on the fact that Jace wouldn't mind.

"So," Isabelle said while giggling, "how was your night."

I swatted her arm as an answer and put a bagel in the toaster.

We ate while Isabelle made jokes and then she took me home where my mother greeted me with what she called 'good news'.

"We're going to Michigan for two weeks to visit some relatives!" She announced cheerfully and expected me to behave the same. "You're going to get your treatments at a nearby hospital so everything is already taken care of. Go pack." She gave me a good natured shove towards my bedroom.

I packed regretfully. Any other day I would be happy to get away from this town, but now, not so much. The thing I would miss most would be Jace and I didn't want to leave him here by himself. I went over the options of telling him or not. Was it too soon for me to be doing that? Would he take it the wrong way? I didn't know, but he made the decision for me when my phone rang a few hours later.

"Hello?" I answered, not recognizing the number that popped up.

"_Hey, it's Jace. Um, Isabelle gave me your number."_

"Oh hey, what's up?"

"_Not much, but I do have a question for you."_

"Shoot."

"_Well, I know that I'm probably moving a bit too fast, but…will you go out with me sometime? Like, not on an unintentional meeting?"_

"Of course, but I have some news."

"_Which would be?"_

"I'm leaving for the next two weeks for Michigan."

"_Oh, well, we can work around that. I can call you whenever you want, but I'm going to tell you something kind of embarrassing right now."_

"Oh really?

"_Yes. I'm calling you whenever I have to go in for chemo because I don't want to go in without you so I'll settle for your voice."_

That right there was the sweetest thing a guy had ever said to me."Fair enough, I'll make sure I have it on me and maybe even call you when I have it too."

"_Sounds good to me," _"Jace!" I heard someone in the background. "_Ugh, sorry, I have to go. I'll talk to you later."_

I said I would and then hung up to finish packing my bag. Worried consumed me for some reason that I had yet to find out. This trip was just about the worst thing that could happen at that moment.

_**Wow, I'm amazed at the support I'm getting from you all and I apologize over and over that it took me so long to update this. I am really enjoying developing these character for you all and I hope you like the story as much as I do. Now it's time for some ShoutOuts:**_

_**MIgirl923: Yes me too, it makes me sad to write this story:(**_

_**it's-Twilliam-bitch**__**: Thanks! That actually makes me feel so much better about this!**_

_**Sonia: Wow! I couldn't ask for a better review! Thanks Chicka! I'm updating about every week to a week and a half.**_

_**Rainbows-and-Rainclouds: That will be revealed in good time my dear, good time;)**_

_**I again thank all of my amazing readers! You guys are what keep me going! And again I sent out to Sandy Hook Schools! Thanks guys and keep giving me feedback! I'm so happy you're liking it:)**_


	4. Chapter 4

**CLARY POV**

We settled into my Aunt Charlotte's house, someone I had only met a few times, and Jonathan was in the same bedroom as I was. There were two different beds of course. In the morning, more accurate would be afternoon, I went downstairs because I heard yelling. Following the sound to the kitchen, I saw Jonathan looking pretty stoned and my mother yelling at him.

"How in the hell did you even find a fucking dealer here! The only reason I choose Aunt Charlotte was because there aren't any! I swear! If I could have a choice, I wouldn't have birthed you Jonathan!" Mother screamed at my brother who just sat there looking dazed. "Look at me, Jonathan! What have I done to you besides provide for you?!" I stepped out from behind the wall and gave my mother a hard look. "Clarissa! Why are you snooping?!" Her anger turned on me.

"I was sleeping for your information!" No one messed with my brother. "What have you done?!" I repeated, "What haven't you done? You're never home, you could care less about his life, you married a man who's in prison for murdering my aunt! Your sister! And you still stayed with him until he was proven guilty! You don't pay attention to Jonathan!" I could feel myself start to sway. "You pulled us all the way out here when a doctor specifically told you I shouldn't be traveling!" I knew I shouldn't be yelling, yelling was stress, and my vision started to get blurry. The last thing I heard was Jonathan yelling my name.

**JACE POV**

I knew something was wrong the moment both of my parents came home yelling. They had been doing it all week, but it seemed different this time. Finally, I heard the words I had been dreading for weeks. "I want a divorce," my mother said silently.

My father gaped at her and nodded silently. Everyone knew it was coming, I turned to face Isabelle who was sitting in the living room with me, her eyes were wet with tears as she came to the same conclusion I did. Isabelle gripped my hand tightly and put her head into my shoulder. When each of our parents finally realized that we were listening their faces grew sad.

"I'm so-" my mother tried to soothe, but a shake of my head cut her off. I didn't want her to apologize and I knew that if she did Isabelle would probably break and I didn't want to see that happen. She was my sister and I would protect her with everything I had, but at this point in my life I didn't have much left. God I missed Clary, I wanted to wrap my arms around her and ask her what to do, she always had good answers. She was so far away.

I pulled myself from thoughts of Clary realizing that they were only going to depress me, I decided I would call her later tonight. "Come on Iz," I extended my hand and pulled her up. Then we went and bonded over a tub of chocolate ice cream I found in the freezer.

My father spent the night at a hotel and my mother called a lawyer to help with the divorce, they weren't wasting any time. Around nine I found it in me to dial Clary's number on my cell phone. A few rings went by and someone whose voice I couldn't place answered the phone. "_Who is this?"_ The voice said.

I cleared my voice, "Um, Jace Herondale, I'm friends with Clary. Who is _this_?"

"_This is Clary's brother, my name's Jonathan. You're on the football team, right?"_

I loved the way people identified me…not. "Used to be, so where is she?"

"_Yes, I'm sure you know about her cancer? Yesterday, she was in an argument with our mother, she stressed herself out too much and fell. Right now she's in a coma, the doctors are sure she'll wake up, it's just a matter of time now, but her cancer is escalating. I can have her call you if…when she wakes up if you want?" _The guy named Jonathan explained to me and it felt like I went numb.

"Yes, thank you," I whispered and the phone dropped from my hand. Jonathan sugar-coated it, I knew what an a coma was. Clary could not wake up and I knew it. I sat on the floor and buried my head in my hands, not knowing any other thing to do at that point. I needed Clary like a flower needed sun; she was my sun, my light in the darkness. Without her my world was dark and lifeless. For the first time, since I can remember, I cried. No sound escaped my lips, but tears flowed down my cheeks like a waterfall.

**Jonathan POV**

It was partly my fault and I knew it, I should have never gone out with the people I met. It was stupid and I knew it. Now my precious, little sister was in a coma and not waking up, it had been two days. A doctor, Dr. Hodge, came in at last with the CT results. We, both my mother and I, looked to him expectantly.

He cleared his throat, "Well, the results are good, she should wake up any day now. No brain damage and good brain waves." He shook my mother's hand and walked away. Soon Jocelyn, my mother, walked away with a touch to Clary's pale forehead.

I received a phone call a few hours later from a boy named Jace. He seemed to be really shaken up at the news of Clary, but I'd never heard her speak of him. It wasn't like her to keep things from me, she must've just met him or something. Sighing, I leaned forward on the chair.

"Hey Clary," I said to her still form, "I know you're in there and I need you to wake up, for me. Please Clarissa, don't leave us, open your eyes, for me. I'd die without you; you're the only thing keeping me sane right now. Come Clary," and idea popped into my head and I realized it was foolish, but I was out of options, "do it for Jace."

I said it and watched as her heart-rate sped up to a normal level. I jumped up and touched her cheek, "Clary?" I whispered and her eyes peeled open slowly.

**JACE POV**

Three days I received no notice and in those three days I withdrew. I went to school, but it felt like I was in a dream, doctors took tests and my cancer escalated further than they could've hoped. Everything was going wrong until Wednesday when my phone rang and Clary's name came up. Assuming it was her brother I flipped it open. "Hello?" I said a bit uninterested.

"_Jace," she breathed._

"Clary? Oh my god, it's you!" I collapsed onto the floor and wrapped an arm around myself, "You're okay."

"_I'm okay," _Clary repeated,_ "and I'm so sorry for not calling you sooner. I woke the other day, but no one would let me near a phone. I'm coming home as soon as they let me, mom's so sorry that she'll do whatever to make me not hate her and I just want to be home. How are you? Are you okay?"_

I was still a little shaken up, "I'm so much better now that I can hear your voice, but the cancer's grown."

I heard her take an intake of breath, _"It's okay, it's going to be okay," _she told me, _"I'll be home as soon as I can and we can fight this thing together."_ I heard someone call her name, _"I have to go, but I'll be home soon." _We hung up and I manage to get into bed without collapsing, like I said, the cancer had escalated. I just hoped I would be able to keep most of it from Clary, she didn't need to see me helpless and that was exactly where I was headed.

**CLARY POV**

Jonathan packed my bags for me as soon as they released me to go home and my mother spent the day calling relatives and apologizing, but saying that I had fallen sick and just needed to go home. We hugged Aunt Charlotte goodbye and jumped on the first plane we could get that traveled home.

It was nighttime when we arrived so I decided that I would just go see Jace tomorrow, but when I made my way to my bedroom my phone rang. Isabelle.

"Hey girl, what's up? I just got home."

"_Oh good, you're back. Can you come tonight? For Jace? Just tell your mom that I need you to stay here with me because I'm alone."_

Her voice seemed urgent and that spurred me on. My mother bought the story and Jonathan was soon driving me, with bag in hand, to Isabelle's house. She met me at the door and ushered me inside, her eyes were puffy and red.

"What's wrong?" I asked very concerned.

She sniffled and wiped her eyes, "They're getting a divorce, dad's moving to who know where. I'll be okay; it's Jace you need to be worried about. He's in his room obviously." She took my bag from me and placed it on the stairs for me to retrieve later.

I made my way up and opened Jace's closed door quietly. He didn't say anything at the intrusion and I couldn't see him yet in the darkness, so I walked slowly inside the room. Once the bed was in full view, I realized that his entire body was covered in a blanket, head and all, as if he was hiding from something. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I peeled the blanket slowly away from his face and touched his cheek. He was sleeping, but the lids of his eyes matched Isabelle's. He opened his eyes slowly after I bent and kissed his forehead. Jace pushed himself slowly into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head in the crook of my neck. After recovering from the initial shook, I put my arms around him and held on tightly.

"You're back," he whispered while holding onto me like I was the only thing keeping him from drowning.

"I'm here," I told him. My hand went to his hair and I ran my fingers through it. I noticed it was thinning dramatically; soon he would look like me. I pried him gently off of me after a while and touched his cheek and finally noticed how thin he was becoming. His cheek bones were more prominent than when I left a week ago, but I didn't mention it, that was a topic for later when I was sure he was mentally okay.

My thumb trail over his face and wiped away a stray tear that had fallen. "You wanna talk?" I asked softly. He shook his head, but pulled me down on the bed with him and held me close. It felt good to be with him.

I woke up before him and untangled myself and had breakfast with Isabelle who explained the circumstances. It was around one that I noticed that he still hadn't woken up. After asking Isabelle if he usually slept this late and she said no, I made my way upstairs again.

Jace wasn't in his bed; no he was hunched over the toilet in the bathroom connected to his room. I quickly rushed inside to help.

**Okay shoutout time!**

**Rainbows-sprinkles-demons: Yes! I know I'm so bad! I needed some excuses for some drama though;)**

**Rachel: That's my name!:) I'll try not to:(**

**MIgirl923: I know:) That's one of my favorite parts**

**Lovingbites: I think I did, but I may change that so stay tuned!**

**It's-Twilliam-bitches: Oh. My. Gosh! This has to be the best review I have ever had in my whole time on fanfiction! You are now my favorite;)**

**Rainbows-and-Rainclouds: I would like to, but I'm having some troubles on where to incorporate them, if you have any suggestions, please feel free to state them!:)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! I'm going to apologize now for all the late updates, but I'm going into exam week. Today I had Spanish 1 and Physical Science….high school's a bitch;) Well onto the story and I thank all my wonderful followers, you guys are what keeps me going! *heart***

**CLARY POV**

I quickly made my way inside of the bathroom and went to the skin. Grabbing a cloth, I ran cold water over it and wrung it out before setting on the cold floor beside Jace. He puked again and I put the cloth on the back of his sweaty neck. Vomit was trailed down the front of his shirt. "You're okay," I whispered and rubbed his back. He shook his head before another round forced him to bend back over the toilet. Not knowing what else I could do, and from experience knew that I was doing all that I could, I kissed his cheek when he was able to raise his head. "Are you okay now?" I whispered.

He started to nod, but shook his head no quickly and bent back over. Jace's whole body was beginning to shake and there wasn't much I could to do stop it.

When he was able to breathe I helped him sit back against the wall and then stood up and wet the cloth again. I wiped his sweaty forehead and gave him a glass of water before wandering into his room and finding a clean shirt for him to wear. Closing the top part of the toilet seat, I flushed it and sat down on the floor beside Jace again. I helped him remove his shirt so that he didn't get any of the vomit on himself and then gave him the clean one which he quickly slipped onto his thin frame. After waiting a few minutes I asked if he could stand. He shrugged unsurely so I wrapped an arm around his waist and helped him back to his bed and pulled the covers on top of him. I heard his door open and saw Isabelle burst in looking a bit frantic.

"What?" I asked.

Once she saw Jace she relaxed a bit, "Sorry, I just didn't know what was going on I-never mind." She flashed me a smile and gave Jace a concerned glace before closing the door quietly. I reached out to touch Jace's forehead and was taken aback when he flinched away from me.

"What? Is something wrong?" I was a bit shocked.

"Don't touch me," he whispered without meeting my eyes.

I gave him an odd look, "Um, okay, why not?"

"I'm not helpless," he told me softly.

I laughed once, quietly, "I know you're not helpless. You're Jace, one of the strongest people I know." I reached in slowly and tried to touch his cheek this time, he didn't flinch away, but he was tense.

He shook his head, "No, I'm not. Quit lying to me!" His voice rose and in that moment I knew he was channeling hurt and sadness into anger and rage.

I smiled sadly and squeezed his hand just before he snatched it away from me. "Okay," I said softly, "I'll leave, you don't want me here. You know where I am if you ever need someone though." Quickly, I walked to the door unwilling to let him see me cry if that's what happened. I had just placed my hand on the door handle when I heard him sniffle and take a shaky breath in.

"Clary, don't go," he said, trying to catch my eye and will me back to him. I hesitated a moment longer at the door, unsure of what to do next. "Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I just feel like I can't do anything right now." He coughed for a moment and that was what broke my resolve. He was hurting, and I knew what it was like to feel like you were so helpless, it sucked.

I turned around and shut the shades on the windows and turned the lights off, then went and sat on the edge of the bed. Realizing that I should probably take a risk and go for what I wanted, I bent in close and saw his eyes shut. My lips traveled closer to his and finally they met. It was everything that I had imagined in a kiss, it felt like sparks flew and I knew in that moment that I probably couldn't live without him. Amazing couldn't sum up everything I felt and when I pulled back and looked into his eyes, I knew that it was the same for him. I kissed him forehead before smiling and standing up. "Close your eyes, I'm going to go and find something for your stomach." He nodded and his eyes started drifting closed.

Closing the door to his bedroom, I made my way down to Isabelle and she handed me something and I brought it back up and set it on the nightstand along with a glass of water for when he woke up.

The doorbell rang a few hours later and Isabelle went to go answer it. Jace had woken up about thirty minutes before and was now wrapped in a blanket and sitting on the couch with me. Soon I could hear Isabelle being to get frustrated with whoever was at the door. I squeezed Jace's hand and went to go see what the problem was, but was practically shoved aside by a football player. His name finally came to me: Alec. Isabelle went bustling after him and tried, but failed, to remove him from seeing Jace. It occurred to me that people in school probably didn't know about Jace having ALL. Shit, was all I could think as I made my way into the living room right behind Isabelle. A snippet of the conversation finally made its way to my ears.

"-you didn't tell me!" Shouted the boy named Alec.

"Man, I-I'm s-sorry. I just c-couldn't," that was Jace and I knew he was having a hard time with words in the moment. I came up beside Isabelle and didn't know what to do, she was trying to pull Alec out of the house but he gave her a hard look and she backed away.

Alec sneered, "Just wait till coach heard about this. He'll finally make me quarterback." What happened next made me take a double take; it was one of those things you only saw in movies. Alec pulled out his iPhone and snapped a picture of Jace lying there, looking like death warmed over. Rage shot though me and I stepped in front of the jackass.

"Out," was all I said, but the look on my face told it all.

He laughed and rolled his eyes, "Oh look, Cancer Girl's gonna defend you!" My eyes burned when I recognized the nickname the 'popular' kids used on me, it had started when I first began to lose my hair.

"I have a name, Jackass," I told him sternly, "and yes, I'm going to defend him because he's sick and you're supposed to be his friend but all you can do is stand here and laugh like an idiot! Who the hell takes a picture of something like this!? That's not right! And this is not my house, but I'm going to speak for all in it when I say: Get your ass out of here before I call the cops." I flashed my phone in front of his eyes and he shook his head

"Whatever freak, just remember I control the school now and everyone will know about this," he gestured to Jace, "by school tomorrow." Then he walked out and slammed the door. A text vibrated my hand a moment later and I sighed, what terrible timing. I walked over to Isabelle and put my hands on her shoulder, "I have to go," I whispered, "just tell him Alec's a jackass and just sit there with him. That's the only thing that would work when the school found out about my ALL." She nodded, partly in a dazed and then I sat beside Jace for a moment.

I touched his cheek and tried to pull his eyes to mine, "I have to go, I'm sorry. I'll be back when I can, get some sleep." I kissed his lips for a moment and didn't get much of a response so I settled for his forehead and then hugged him tightly before making way to my car.

I met Jonathan at a local coffee shop down the road from our house. "What's up, bro?" I asked after ordering a hot chocolate.

"Look," he whispered and gestured all secretively to the tables that we outside in back. I looked around and was confused for a moment until I spotted our mom. She was sitting with a man that I didn't know and laughing. I hadn't seen her laugh in ages and to just see this strange man making her laugh made me a bit angry.

"What the-?" I looked to him for answers.

He shook his head, "It's a good thing I'm the bad child. I figured out how to get into her phone, his name's Luke. They meet here every other day and talk all the time, they've even been dating for two months now."

I gaped and my mouth dropped open and practically hit the floor. He nodded and I put my head in my hands. "She's an idiot," was all I could manage.

"Oh, I have a question. Who's Jace?" Jonathan broke the silence that stretched for a few moments.

My head came quickly removed from my hands, "Just a friend," came flowing out of my mouth.

He laughed, "As if, his name is what woke you up. That's all I had to say, "Do it for Jace" and your eyes popped open." He let it drop and I was thankful. I finished my drink that had come while we were talking and paid. Jonathan and I went home because I told Isabelle that I probably should take a break from seeing Jace, we were moving really fast. Let her be a sister, he probably needed some family time right now anyhow.

**JACE POV**

Everything hurt. It felt like I could barely breath and my stomach lurched every time my breath wheezed from my chest. Isabelle was in my room. She was lying on a couch on the other side of my bedroom sleeping. Clary had left hours ago, I had made her leave. I was such an ass to her that if I were in the same position I wouldn't ever talk to me again. The thought left me wiping my eyes before the dreaded water escaped them.

A slam startled me and woke Isabelle, next came to screaming. They were home and fighting again. A few minutes later my mother came into the room, she saw me and sighed, and then looked to Isabelle. "We're leaving. Now. Isabelle, help your brother pack his things. Anything you'll need over the week needs to come with you because we're not coming back until then," she announced, anger radiated off of her and tension lined her body. Slamming the door, she left to her room to pack I assumed.

I looked over at Isabelle who had her head in her hands and painfully pushed myself into a sitting position. "Come here," I whispered and extended my arm to her despite the pain it brought me. Isabelle brought her head up and came quickly over and buried herself in my side. I coughed into my arm and then held onto her and tried to assure her it was going to be okay.

We packed up twenty minutes later and they had to help me into the back seat of the car where I laid on a pillow. It was a bit humiliating, but I was so tired that I really didn't care. We managed to rent out a hotel room for the weak. Girls got one bed; I got the other of course. It was uncomfortable and I missed my own bed and I missed Clary. I loved hanging out with Isabelle, but I wanted someone who understood better than Isabelle could right now. I wanted Clary. Sighing, I pulled out my phone and sent her a text.

_Hey, you up?_

I received on back a few minutes later. _Of course. How are you? I'm sorry about leaving, but I thought you should have time with Isabelle. _

J: _Tired, my head hurts. We left, mom took us to a hotel. Don't do that. I love Isabelle, but I need you like I need food haha._

_C: You have chemo tomorrow, right?_

_J: Of course, it's Thursday_

_C: I'll see you then, we can spend the day watching TV while you sniffle:]_

_J: Great to know you care;]_

_C: Of course I care:] I'll see you then, get some sleep. Goodnight._

_J: Finnne, goodnight, sweet dreams._

The last one was totally random and brought on by the fever I'm sure. I took her advice and tried to get some sleep, tomorrow would probably be a long day, not to mention I hadn't met Clary's parents and the fact that we hadn't done the whole official meet and greet with my parents and her, just small run in's.

_**Hey guys! Sorry for how long it took me to write this but I wasn't sure where I wanted to take it. I'm quite happy with it now and I hope you are too! I passed all my exams and even my Spanish exam with 100%! Go me!:) If you ever have any suggestions on how to incorporate new characters from the books I'm totally open! Now, on to the shoutouts to my wonderful and amazing fans!:) **_

_**Whoissamwho: I sworry!:( But I'm glad you like it!:)**_

_**It's-Twilliam-bitch: You are now. I'm so glad you love it!:)**_

_**Jordan xoxo: Don't cry:( Thank you so much**_

_**Kay Skie: Thank you, it just came to me:) I like your grammar haha! That would be so cool! I'm trying**_

_**Jordy3333: That review was really interesting to read:) I was insanely entertained, thank you so much:)**_

_**Wolfpackof1: Me too, I like the idea of the roles reversed. Thank you, that makes me feel a lot better about this whole thing. I was smiling while writing that part:)**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! I'm back with a new chapter! My goal is for this to be a bit fluffy and cute between Jace and Clary. They need some moments:) and I think you'll agree. Now on to the romance…**

**JACE POV**

A nurse settled me into a room and set up the chemo drip. My mother sat beside me with a book in hand and soon my phone buzzed.

_C: Hey, you in yet?_

_J: Just got set up. You here?_

_C: I can be up in five._

"Mom," I looked over and hoped to get this over with before I had to puke.

She turned up from her book, "Yes?"

I coughed once, left over from being sick, "Um, Clary's coming up here, and we're…um…" I felt at a loss for words, but my mother smiled.

"You're going to have a date in here," she supplied and I nodded sheepishly, she closed her book and stood up, "well, I have some grocery shopping to do so I'll be back right around when you're finished." She kissed my forehead and left. I turned the television on some movie, I think it was _The Time Travelers Wife_, and settled back onto the pillows.

Clary came in a few minutes later and I smiled at her. "Hey stranger," she whispered and then straightened her green beanie that covered her head.

"Hey," I said back softly and then scooted over on the bed so she could sit with me instead of sitting on one of those uncomfortable chairs. Clary maneuvered herself around the wires and settled into my side.

"Feel any better?" She asked as I wrapped an arm around her waist.

I nodded slightly, "A little, I took some medicine for it and I'm a lot better than yesterday." She nodded into my chest. I turned so that I was situated towards her and could look into her eyes. "I have a question for you." Her eyes lit up in interest.

"What's up?"

I took a deep breath, "So, I've known you about a month now and realized that you-you don't judge me, you don't care when I'm sick, and you're…here."

She gave me an odd look, "Of course I'm here."

I laughed softly and realized I probably had only a small window left until I got sick, "Clary, what I'm trying to say, and of course failing miserably, is…will you…be my…girlfriend?"

At first her face was blank and my face fell along with all my hope, but then her face broke into the most beautiful and wonderful smile. "Yes," she said and then I kissed her quick on the lips. Directly after that was the moment that what I known all along would happen, happened. Clary must've caught the look on my face because she had a wastepaper basket under my mouth before I even had a chance to bend over.

I puked once and then lay back onto the bed after rinsing my mouth out. Clary took care of the bucket and then threaded her fingers through mine. "Maybe we should hold off on the excitement," a small smile played at her lips.

"Just for a little while," I whispered and leaned my head on top of hers. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small container and brought a piece of gum out and handed it to me. I put it in my mouth and squeezed her hand in thanks. Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and stopped once I felt it. Clary turned her head to me in question, but understanding and compassion filled her eyes after a moment. "I'm going to look like a freak," I whispered and immediately regretted it when I saw a small look of hurt flash through her eyes. "I'm sorry," I tried to take it back, "I didn't mean it like that."

She smiled sadly and I felt even worse, "I know you didn't." She scanned my face for a moment, "You can always do what I did and save yourself the hurt."

"What'd you do?"

"Shaved it off. A bald girl looks better than a half-bald girl in my opinion," she shrugged, "you can if you want, I can help, but it's totally up to you."

I had to think for only a minute on the issues, "Let's do it." Clary scanned my face and then nodded.

"Okay, when you're done with chemo I'll see what I can do," she settled back into my side and I drifted off to sleep the beat of her heart, it was the same thing that always put me to sleep.

**CLARY POV**

He fell asleep on my shoulder and I turned the television off and then settled down and closed my eyes.

I woke up to Jace trailing his fingers over my lips and cheek. Slowly, I opened my eyes and focused on him and a yawn escaped my mouth causing him to chuckle. "Sorry," I smiled, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

He waved off my apology, "Doesn't matter. You ready? They just unhook me."

I nodded and pulled myself from his warm arms, Jace was a little shakier and I went over and threaded our fingers together; providing support, but still being discrete about it. He told me that he needed to talk to his mom for a moment, but asked if I could pull my car up for him. I complied and he met me outside a few minutes later.

I managed to pull my phone out and ask my mother if I could bring Jace home. She told me I could. We drove to my house and I pulled into the garage and cut the engine.

Jace looked to me and I could tell he was nervous about something, "Is your mom home?"

Ah, that would explain it. I nodded, "Yea, but she's in her office doing who knows what."

He seemed to relax a bit and followed me into the house. I took a deep breath as I saw my mother in the living room waiting for us, she looked to me expectantly. Sighing, I walked over to her with Jace on my heels. "Jace, this is my mother Jocelyn Fairchild. Mom, this is Jace Herondale," I did the quick introducing thing.

Jace extended his hand, "It's nice to meet your Mrs. Fairchild."

She completely ignored his offered hand and turned to me, "Clarissa, I expect him to be gone by five." Then she turned on her heels and left to her office.

Rolling my eyes, I led Jace upstairs.

"You sure you want to do this?" I asked him. We were in my bathroom and he was sitting on a stool.

He nodded and shut his eyes, "Do it." His tone was finale. I shrugged and turned the shaver-thing on.

I shaved off what little hair was actually left on his head and then turned the device off. "Open," I said and he complied.

Standing up to get a better look, he ran his hand over his newly bald head. I left to grab something and let him have a moment.

When I decided that it was okay to come back, I handed him a black hat. "You're going to want to wear that. If you're not careful, your head can burn really easily for a while." Jace nodded and put the hat on and then turned to me. I put my hands on the sides of his face and pulled him towards me. Our lips met and I felt the sensation that I now craved. It was a hunger inside of me that I had never felt before. When I pulled away he frowned and I laughed. "Come on," I said and pulled him into my room. I had a black comforter with black pillows and my walls were white. He looked like he was going to pass out soon so I made him lay down on the bed. Jace frowned again when I didn't lay down with him.

I laughed a bit, "Your parents might not care, but if my mother walked in here with me sleeping with you she'd kill me."

His frown deepened and I rolled my eyes and instead sat down beside him on the bed. Our fingers automatically intertwined and with my other hand I felt his forehead. He was a little warm, but not too bad.

Jace rolled his eyes, "I'm fine, Clary, quit worrying."

I huffed, "I'm going to worry and you saying to not worry is not going to help."

"Fine," he said exasperated and then closed his eyes when I started to trail my fingers down his arm.

He fell asleep and I gentle removed myself from the bed and sat in a chair next to him.

I dropped him off at his hotel when he woke up about an hour later. My mother gave her evil eye on the way out and I knew we would probably fight later. Jace, being Jace of course, tried to get me to come up. I lightly smacked him on the shoulder and pushed him out of the car. I valued moments like these lately, I knew happiness never lasted.

**Wow guys, I apologize so deeply for how long it has taken me to finished this chapter and how it isn't very long. I promise to have something new up as soon as I can, but I'm just running into a bit of writers block lately. I know some things that have to happen, but they're all bunched in my head. Well, now for some shoutouts!:)**

**Maddyrose99: Thank you! I felt like we all needed to see that side of Jace and that's where this comes from. I'm actually not sure how it's going to end yet, so stay tuned:)**

**MIgirl923: I know right! I needed some badass Alec to keep it going**

**It's-twilliam-bitch: I know, it's all really sad that it actually happens and that's why I had to put it in here though I really did hate writing that because it made me so sad:( Agreeing on the Alec thing and on another note: I hoped to get that reaction to them:)**


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